Editor’s note: Our “recipe thief” had a lot of fun gathering up the Monkees favorite dishes, even though she gets a little carried away finding them. The Monkees are really great chefs and were kind enough to tell us their favorite dishes and how to make them. We hope you’ll try them out and see why Davy, Peter, Mike and Micky love the food they do…
By The Recipe Thief
I am a recipe thief. I steal cooking secrets from rock ’n roll stars. If you’re extra quiet you can come along with me on my Monkee mission. I said quiet! Shhhh! Our first target is darling Davy Jones. I’ve heard his favorite, all-time groovy, luverly meal is Steak and Chips. Hand me the flashlight… now where would he hide it… not in the drawer… hummm. Hey! Here it is in his jockey boot! Now let’s see… it says:
Davy’s delight: steak & chips
Take one steak (preferably T-bone) and fling madly into a pan of boiling water. After soaking thoroughly, take out and grill in a hot skillet or under broiler flame. This soaking process makes the steak so soft and tender that you can touch it with a fork and it will fall apart. Chef’s (that’s Davy) note: “It’s the most tender steak and it tastes fantastic.”
To add chips, take a potato and cut in ⅛" slices (either round, which is very British, or French fries shape). Get four or five heaping tablespoons of lard and fling it in a skillet. When lard is sizzling, dump in potatoes and cook until golden brown. When cooked remove from heat and put them on, paper towels. Dry, add salt and vinegar. Chef’s note: you can also use Crisco oil if you don’t have lard. Incidentally, the real secret is using lots of vinegar (strictly English) and you’ll luv ’em!
Hey… look here, I just found another million recipes. It’s obvious—Davy loves to cook. Boy, he’s different from Mike. Mike keeps most of his recipes in his head, except for those he keeps under that wool hat. Now really! Who’s going to keep a recipe for Chili under a wool hat? Only Michael. Let’s see… here’s what goes in first:
Monkee Mike’s cool, cool chili
Toss in meat, add chili powder and chopped onions and garlic and all the other stuff that goes into Chili. I really think he could have put in measurements… well, I’ll do it…
¼ cup olive oil
2 lbs. ground round & sirloin combined
1 cup minced onions
2 cloves garlic
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 tablespoon paprika
2 teaspoons oregano
salt and pepper
1–2 cups hot water
Heat the olive oil, add the meat and cook until meat is brown. Add onions and garlicy cook five minutes stirring constantly. Stir in chili powder, paprika, oregano, salt and pepper. Add 1 cup water and simmer until meat is tender. Add 2 cups kidney beans just before serving. Use tomatoes if desired. Serves four to six people. Gee, that’s enough for you and me and Davy, Mike, Micky and Peter—not a bad idea.
AHHHHH, Peter’s our next target. Now the only place he could hide his recipe for fried chicken (his absolute fave dinner), complete with avocado salad, would be under the bunny on his nightshirt.
Peter’s sassy salad
Break and shred up lettuce, slice up avocado (peeled, of course), tomatoes, young onions and toss together with vigor. Add Roquefort dressing.
Peter’s fancy fried chicken
Wipe chicken pieces with damp cloth, sprinkle with salt and pepper, dip in batter of egg and flour. Put oodles of butter and ¼ cup of oil in pan with seasoning. Wait until hot and dump chicken in… hope for the best! And for golden brown, crisp chicken.
All right, Peter… Ta.
Now for Micky… He’s supposed to be a fiend for malts! Crash, crunch. Now you’ve done it, you’ve… “Hi, Micky!” (ulp)… “What do you like to cook?”
Micky rubs his sleepy eyes, “I cook lots of different things like African Wambat soup. You take a Wambat from Africa, bring it home, clean it, take all the feathers off—it’s furb, actually. The stuff on Wambats isn’t feathers. It’s furb. So take that off. Throw it away, because there’s nothing worse than Wambat furb. Wambat furb is the absolute low in gourmet dining. Quarter the Wambat and put in a kettle containing two packages of lime Koolade and three pieces of Double Bubble gum (whole). It kills the flavor if you chop up the gum. Add a bowl of Kellogg’s Rice Krispies—that’s a plug. Simmer carefully for 17 days… about that time you get it done and it’s become the consistency of carpet. You can’t eat it, so you lay it on the floor and look at it. I’ve got the greatest Wambat carpet in the world and everytime [sic] I want some bubble gum or lime Koolade or Wambat, I just take a bite out of my carpet.”
Now I know that Micky drinks a lot of malts, so to keep him from turning me in for stealing his Wambat soup recipe, I found his recipe for a Monkee Malt… and it’s really great!
Micky’s mad, mad malt
Take milk, Rocky Road ice cream and an egg. Pour into a blender, gently wrap the blender in wool and blend, then take a glass and pour in the liquid. Add a sliced banana with coconut shredded on top for decoration… drink while listening to “I’m A Believer.”