By Sally Field
I devoted one of my columns earlier this year to talking about boys and, honestly, it’s a subject I just can’t resist. The last time I talked in sort of general terms and the reactions I got were “What about YOU?” “What kind of boys do YOU date?”
I’m sure you all think I date all the young, groovy-looking actors, but that’s not really so. Like Davy Jones and I dated for a while, but we no longer date and are just good friends. Actually I think it would be a gas to work with David on TV or in a movie someday. He’s really a fine entertainer.
Actors are drags Permalink
Actually, I date very few guys in show business. Why? Because so many of the actors you meet have terribly big egos and they don’t care about you, they only think of themselves.
The boys I do go out with, though, have the same attitude as I do on one subject—marriage. Most young people in high school and college have marriage in mind when they date. They think to themselves “What would it be like to be married to this person?” They are looking for the security of having one person and getting married or engaged.
The difference is I am not looking for that. I want to get married eventually, but not for many years. Right now I have the security of my work and I love my work so much, I couldn’t give it up right now.
No going steady Permalink
When I think about dating a boy I think about enjoying myself each time I’m with him, but nothing long range. I don’t want to be tied down to one person. I think it would be a drag because I already have enough demands on my time.
I am attracted to a certain kind of guy. It really doesn’t matter how good looking a boy is, but he has to have a groovy personality. He has to be alive! Some people when you look at them they don’t look you in the eye, they seem dead behind their eyes. But some people are really alive! They look right at you, they meet eyes with you, they talk—and that’s the kind of guy I’m attracted to.
Falling in love Permalink
When the time comes that I am attracted to a boy and maybe fall in love (I love a lot of people and what I mean is when I become infatuated with someone and get really jazzed over them) I’m so excited about being with him I’m a nervous wreck!
When I get hung up like that he is all I talk about. The people around me begin to think “Oh, no!” because that’s all I’ll talk about for weeks. Also, I’m terribly loyal to anybody I like. Everything is devoted to him, whoever it is.
Make own presents Permalink
I begin making little things for him, buying him little books about love, sending him cards—anything to let him know I care. And it takes me hours to get ready to go out. I get so excited I don’t eat. I lose about 15 pounds every time I fall for a new guy!
I mentioned sending little gifts and these are usually things I’ve made like beads or hand-made cards or something. I love doing things like that. However, when it comes to special presents, like for birthdays or Christmas, I really get scared!
He won’t like it Permalink
The reason I get nervous about buying a present for a boyfriend is that I’m afraid my taste won’t be the same as his. Also, it takes too long to find the perfect gift. What I try to do is listen if someone mentions something casually that they’d like and they don’t realize I’m paying attention, then it’s a big surprise.
I guess that’s about all I can tell you about how I get along with boys. From the letters I’ve read I think we share a lot of problems and a lot of happy moments too. Just like you I wait for a guy to call and when he does it’s heaven. Just like you I’m sad when a relationship comes to an end, but someone else seems to come along and each time it’s nicer and nicer. So in sharing our problems, we can also share our joys. And I think there are a lot more joys in this world than sorrows!
It’s been fun. See you next month.
Sally Field
