Monkee Mail

Dearest Jackie,

I’ve just read my Monkees Monthly and I thought I’d write to tell you just what this fan of the Monkees has to go through. To earn my Monkees Book—I have to wash and wipe the dishes, hoover the rooms, make the beds and do the shopping and while I’m out I get my Monkees Monthly.

Then…… I sit in a chair and nobody disturbs me till I’ve finished. Then I wait for next month. But I hope one day I meet those Great Guys. That would be a day I’d always remember. Cheerio.

Lots of love,

Sylvia Pileworth,
Northwood,
67 Ingestre St.,
Harwich,
Essex.


A Monkee bug

A Monkee bug (Bugus Monkeeus) is a dangerous insect which inhabits the wilds of Hollywood, U.S.A. There are four species:

(a) Peter Bug Tork is a North American Bug which once inhabited Washington, D.C., and tormented the President by singing “Auntie Grizelda” backwards. It is often seen with bells around its neck and has flowers in its hair.

(b) Micky Bug Dolenz is a groovy bug of fuzzy dimensions. It lives in California and at night makes a noise like bashing drums by rubbing its legs against its wings. Is especially dangerous and fatal when heard singing “Daily Nightly”.

(c) Mike Bug Nesmith inhabits the Texas prairies and is the founder of the SAVE THE TEXAS PRAIRIE CHICKEN campaign.

(d) Davy Bug Jones was introduced to America some time ago from England. It comes from the region of Manchester called Openshaw. It has brown eyes, brown hair and is altogether WOW! Is known to be fatal for any female to hear it sing to “I Wanna be Free”.

If by any chance you are bitten by these bugs there is only one way you can cure yourself of this incurable groovy disease.

  1. Run to the nearest record player and play Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn and Jones Ltd.

Lynne Allen,
Huyton.


Nut message

Dear Jackie,

Thanks for the grooviest, fabbest, superbest, excitingest and smashingest magazine out.

The Monkees are the Greatest!!! What other group could do weekly shows like they do? They’re fantastic, their concerts really proved that!

I’d like to say to all fellow fans, keep buying their records so they get another number one! It’s up to us, the fans, to make it number one, so come on, Show them we really care!

A MAD MONKEE NUT,
Midhurst,
Sussex.


Make it top

Dear Jackie and Fans,

I love the Monkees new release “Valleri” and I’m sure all the other Monkee fans do as well, so lets get cracking and make sure that it gets to the top of the charts.

I like the other side, “Tapioca Tundra”, also especially as it’s written by them.

Yours sincerely,

Marilyn Hilliker,
Kingston-upon-Thames.


Billi sonnet

Twinkle, twinkle, from afar,
Do you know what you are?
We all know you’re slightly crazy,
But we love you, Darling Davy.

This one is about dear Peter,
He’s a gorgeous, sweet little creature,
I think he’s slightly kinky too,
But I love him and so do you.

Micky is skinny and fuzzy too,
He’s very friendly, we know that’s true,
He’s a jolly little fellow,
But he can’t play the cello!

Mike is tall and he’s attached,
He and Phyllis are very well matched,
We can’t have him, we know that,
And I adore his woolly hat.

Peter, Davy, Micky, Mike are they,
See their car on the highway,
It goes like a flippin’ bomb,
Oh my Gawd! Where have they gone?

Sue, Sue, Viv, and Wilmer,
Billericay.

Magazine: Monkees Monthly
Editor: Jackie Richmond
Published:
Issue: 16
Publisher: Monkees Monthly
Pages: 28–29