Inside Mike’s House

Magazine: Monkee Spectacular #3
Author:
Editor: Ralph Benner
Published:
Volume: 1
Issue: 3
Publisher: New Asbury Ltd. Publishing Co.
Pages: 22–23, 55

Mike Nesmith

David lived with Mike and Phyllis for several months and knows everything about the house so many fans around the world would love to visit. Here, in the official MONKEE SPECTACULAR, David takes you along with him for a detailed fun-filled experience.

Mike’s house is located way up above Sunset at the end of a particularly long, steep hill, and one night when Davy and I were living there, we found out just how steep it was. We had gone out to a club and decided to leave before everyone else wanted to go, so we decided to walk home. We walked along for hours and hours and hours and when we got to Mike’s we just collapsed on the front steps. As you can tell, it’s a long way to the Spanish house with the red tile roof and the big oak door with the peephole that Mike calls home.

Double chimes

When you get to the house, you ring the doorbell and complete confusion breaks out inside, because the doorbell and the phones are chimes. Someone is always opening the door when the phone rings and answering the phone when the doorbell sounds. Once everyone makes up their minds about which chime is which and lets you inside, you have to tiptoe across the entrance hall floor or take your shoes off.

The Entrance Hall has a black and white checkered floor and when we used to come in, Phyllis would get mad because there would suddenly be black marks on the white squares, We finally learned to tiptoe across the hall, because Phyllis is a demon housekeeper and used to clean and wax that floor every other day. Some of us used to try and leap over the squares unsuccessfully, and then there’d really be a scene. Eventually we all learned to go into the house through the back way to avoid hassles with Phyllis about her floor.

Great housekeeper

In fact Phyllis is such a great housekeeper that she refuses to have anyone in the house when she’s cleaning. So every other day we would all have to try and find something else to do. Christian would lay low in his room playing with his toys all day. Spotte, Mike’s dog, would go out to the backyard and dig caverns in the ground, huge caverns. That backyard is Spotte’s territory. The rest of us would either find something to do away from the house or go out and walk up and down all over the caverns that Spotte made. We usually tried to go somewhere else.

Mystery closet

From the entrance hall there are three directions you can go. You can go straight up the stairs which takes you to the upstairs. The stairs are wrought iron and have beige carpets and before I go any further let me explain that everything in that house is beige, dark wood and green. Right under the stairs is a mystery closet where Phyllis keeps the vacuum cleaner. The reason it’s a mystery closet is that every time someone has lost or misplaced something, it will show up about two to three days later in that closet.

Guitars and slot cars

To the right of the stairs is what amounts to the den or what might originally have been a dining room. Now it’s a sort of storage room with a water cooler. There’s no furniture in that room, but from time to time it holds some guitar cases with or without guitars in them. It also used to house Mike’s slot car racing track and slot cars until he lost interest in that. This entire room is beige and off white.

Groovy food

Mike Nesmith

Next we head into the kitchen-dinette area. As you first step through the door, to your right is a long, dark wood and metal table with about six to eight chairs around it. Then we pass the counter that separates the dinette part from the kitchen where Phyllis does all her cooking. She’s a fantastic cook and it’s amazing the way she’ll get up an absolutely outasite meal for as many people as Mike happens to bring home every night. I’ve never had a bad or indifferent meal since I’ve been there.

As we continue into the kitchen itself, you’ll notice that the wall on the left side of the kitchen, the bottom half of the wall, is dark wood and there’s a brown refrigerator built in there. The floor is beige and brown and spotless. As you continue to look from left to right in the kitchen, you notice the stove and a long cupboard that extends to the pantry entrance. On the opposite side of the kitchen is the sink and counter and dishwasher. There is a kind of pantry or service porch heading out to the back door.

Property of Spotte

As you walk past the stove to your left, you run into the guest room. Actually, it’s Spotte’s room, but when Davy was there she let Davy share the room with her. Spotte has a bed and bath and it’s mostly done in green. She has to be one of the most petted dogs in history, but she is generous. She even let us use her bathtub and shower when we couldn’t use the one upstairs because it leaked.

The “Good Morning” Nut

Davy and Spotte got along very well together, but the neighbors thought that he was nuts! You see, Davy had this thing he used to do. He used to get up very early in the morning and walk out on the downstairs balcony. Then he would recite the scene from “1,000 Clowns” you know the one where the man is saying hello to everyone, the “Good Morning, Campers” routine. This would wake all the neighbors up because he’d shout it. They all thought Davy was nuts, but none of them wanted to tangle with someone who would yell plays at that hour of the morning, so after they all got over the first big shock, they’d just try to go back to sleep and ignore him.

Livingroom wars

While the neighbors are still in shock, lets [sic] head on back to the other side of the Entrance Hall where we go down to steps to the sunken living room. I called this room my home for a long time. It has beige carpets, two green easy chairs, a long curved green couch, a huge stone fire place facing the couch and long coffee table, a color television and a huge stereo unit which he plays at top volume.

The coffee table has a couple of interesting things on it. There’s a box that you put a penny on and a hand comes out and grabs the penny. I imagine that’s for Christian’s use, and then there’s a little wooden warrior sculpture standing there.

Christian is outasite!

Mike Nesmith

As you go upstairs, you are facing a long closet where guests items and Christian’s things are kept. The carpets are once again beige. As you turn to the left to go down the hall, the first door to your right is Christian’s room and it contains, Christian’s bed, at least 20 million toys of all shapes and descriptions and sometimes, if you are lucky enough to find him—Christian.

Now Christian is something else. Because of all the musicians Mike hangs around with, Christian speaks in a very hip way for a two and a half year old. He says “later” instead of “good bye” and “make it” instead of “fetch” to Spotte. People don’t really know what to think of him when he opens his mouth. They just aren’t ready for it. They’re always kind of taken aback and wonder where he’s been and with what. Another thing Christian does is love Spotte. He could love that dog to death. When Mike has scolded Spotte for something, Christian will start in by hitting Spotte on the head and saying “no” in a very sharp voice. This confuses Spotte and it wouldn’t be too bad if Christian didn’t have the bad habit of keeping it up all day! Sometimes that dog just doesn’t know whether it’s coming or going, but Christian loves that dog!

Big beds

While Christian is hugging Spotte, we’ll continue down the hall and on our right we pass the bathroom and continue down the hall to the master bedroom. As we step through the door on our immediate left is a long, large walk in closet which seems to go on forever. Further down that wall are sliding glass doors onto the sun deck, not the same one Davy used to shout from, and inside the room are a chest of drawers and this gigantic king sized bed.

Small fires

One really nutty thing that happened here was our “Fire”. Phyllis decided to rake some leaves and burn them and one of the neighbors spotted this huge fire, the pile was so small you could pick it up in one hand, and the whole fire department with hook and ladder came to put our small fire out. Instead of just letting us put it out with the garden hose, they undid all their equipment and doused the fire. We just couldn’t believe what was happening and I kind of guess that’s the way Mike’s house is too—you can’t believe that house until you actually see it.

FLASH FLASH

At press time, Mike just purchased a brand new house which he is remodeling. For the tour of this new home, read the July issue of TiGER BEAT on sale Tuesday, June 13.


More articles by David Price