“Along Came Jones”

I plopped down in my easy chair and turned on channel two
A bad gunslinger called Salty Sam was chasing poor sweet Sue
Trapped her in the old sawmill, and he said with an evil laugh
“If you don’t give me the deed to your ranch, I’ll saw you all in half!”

And then he grabbed her!
And then?
He tied her up!
And then?
He turned on the buzz saw!
And then? And then?
“What seems to be going on here?”

And then along came Jones
Tall, thin Jones
Slow walkin’ Jones (Slow talkin’ Jones)
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones

Commercial came on, so I got up to get myself a snack
Should have seen what was goin’ on by the time that I got back
Down in the old abandoned mine, sweet Sue was a-havin’ fits
“If you don’t give me the deed to your ranch, I’ll blow you all to bits!”

And then he grabbed her!
And then?
He tied her up!
And then?
He lit the fuse to the dynamite!
And then? And then?
“That’s not cricket, old chap.”

And then along came Jones
Tall, thin Jones
Slow walkin’ Jones (Slow talkin’ Jones)
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones

[break]

I got so bugged, I turned it off and turned on anther show
There was the same old shoot ’em up and the same old rodeo
Salty Sam was trying to stuff sweet Sue in a burlap sack, he said
“If you don’t give me the deed to your ranch, I’ll put you on the railroad track!”

And then he grabbed her!
And then?
And then he tied her up!
And then?
And then he threw her on the railroad track, WHAT A JERK!
And then?
“Excuse me, but your train is blocking my driveway.”

And then along came Jones
Tall, thin Jones
Slow walkin’ Jones (Slow talkin’ Jones)
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones