“Randy Scouse Git” Lyrics

Mike: Fantastic! Fantastic!
Micky: One day, Nez comes up to me—huh, sounds like the start of some… ha ha ha. “Well, one day, Nez comes up to me—“
Mike: Says, “Hey there, Mick. How come it is you don’t write no songs?”
Micky: I said, “Why should I write songs, Nez?”
Mike: “Because that’s where the money is.”
Micky: Oh! Ha ha ha ha! Well, I was over in the U.K., and uh, our first tour, meeting all kinds of wonderful people, like the Beatles and stuff, and I went to my hotel room one night, and I wrote a song about my experiences. I called it “Randy Scouse Git”. Couple of months later, the, uh, record company said that, uh, they wanted to release it in England as a single, and I said, “Cool”, but they said, “You have to change the title.” I said “Why?” They said “Because it’s rude.” I said “I saw it on BBC television at seven o’clock at night,” and they said, “I’m sorry, you have to have an alternate title.” And uh, okay, so the song was released, went to number one under the title “Alternate Title”.

She’s a wonderful lady, and she’s mine, all mine
And there doesn’t seem a way that she won’t come and lose my mind
It’s too easy humming songs to a girl in yellow dress
Been a long time since the party, and the room is in a mess

The four kings of E.M.I. are sitting stately on the floor
There are birds out on the sidewalk and a valet at the door
He reminds me of a penguin with few and plastered hair
There’s talcum powder on the letter, birthday boy is there

Why don’t you cut your hair?
Why don’t you live up there?
Why don’t you do what I do
See what I feel when I care?

Now they’ve darkened all the windows, seats are naugahyde
I’ve been waiting for an hour, I can’t find a place to hide
The being known as Wonder Girl is speaking, I believe
It’s not easy trying to tell her I shortly have to leave

Why don’t you be like me?
Why don’t you stop and see?
Why don’t you hate who I hate
Kill who I kill to be free?

Micky: Listen to this.
[break, ad-lib]

Why don’t you cut your hair?
Why don’t you live up there?
Why don’t you do what I do
See what I feel when I care?

(She’s a wonderful lady) Why don’t you be like me?
(And she’s mine all mine) Why don’t you stop and see?
(And there doesn’t seem a way) Why don’t you hate who I hate
(That she won’t come and lose my mind) Kill who I kill to be free?

(It’s too easy humming songs) Why don’t you cut your hair?
(To a girl in yellow dress) Why don’t you live up there?
(It’s been a long time since the party) Why don’t you do what I do
(And the room is in a mess) See what I feel when I care?

Micky: Ba doobie do wa.
Mike: Ah!
Micky: Ba doobie do wa.
Mike: Oh!
Micky: Ba doobie doobie ba-da da.


Sources

  1. The Monkees: The Day-by-Day Story of the ’60s TV Pop Sensation (2005), Andrew Sandoval, p. 297.