“Randy Scouse Git” Lyrics

Micky: Way back in the year 1967 or so, I had the pleasure of going over to England, over the great pond to the U.K. where I met the members of another group. They were called The Beatles. One night, they threw us a party. I don’t remember much about the party; I’m told I had a great time. But after the party, I wrote this song, and I do remember that. I hope.

She’s a wonderful lady, and she’s mine, all mine
And there doesn’t seem a way that she won’t come and lose my mind
It’s too easy humming songs to a girl in yellow dress
Been a long time since the party, and the room is in a mess

The four kings of E.M.I. are sitting stately on the floor
There are birds out on the sidewalk and a valet at the door
He reminds me of a penguin with few and plastered hair
There’s talcum powder on the letter, and the birthday boy is there

Why don’t you cut your hair?
Why don’t you live up there?
Why don’t you do what I do
See what I feel when I care?

Now they’ve darkened all the windows, and the seats are naugahyde
I’ve been waiting for an hour, I can’t find a place to hide
The being known as Wonder Girl is speaking, I believe
It’s not easy tryin’ to tell her that I shortly have to leave

Why don’t you be like me?
Why don’t you stop and see?
Why don’t you hate who I hate
Kill who I kill to be free?

Davy: One time!

Skaba daba dooba BEEP doobla ba-pa doodla BEEP doodla-BEEP do BEEP-bo ba-pa doo ba-day
Be-bop-bop ba boo-bop ba doodla beep, doodla beep, doodla beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep bwa
Skaffa-doodla-dee doodla ba-ba doo-ba DEE, doodla BEEP, doo BEEP boo doo-doo dee-boo doo-ba day
Ra-ba doo BEEP-boo do-do la-da do-do deem do-boo la-ba dooba day

Why don’t you cut your hair?
Why don’t you live up there?
Why don’t you do what I do
See what I feel when I care?

(She’s a wonderful lady) Why don’t you be like me?
(And she’s mine all mine) Why don’t you stop and see?
(And there doesn’t seem a way) Why don’t you hate who I hate
(That she won’t come and lose my mind) Kill who I kill to be free?

(It’s too easy humming songs) Why don’t you cut your hair?
(To a girl in yellow dress) Why don’t you live up there?
(It’s been a long time since the party) Why don’t you do what I do
(And the room is in a mess) See what I feel when I care?

Why don’t you be like me?
Why don’t you stop and see?
Why don’t you hate who I hate

Davy: Hey, Micky… hey, Micky… hey, Micky, Micky, stop, Micky, Micky, Micky! Micky! MICKY! Micky, Micky, the song, the song, it’s finished, it’s finished, the song, it’s over… it’s over. The song, it’s ov—
Micky: [sobbing] Who the hell are you?
Peter: Ha ha ha ha ha…
Micky: Where am I?! The colors! The colors!
Davy: Come on. Ah, not, is there anything I can get you, Micky? Anything I can get you?
Micky: Prozac!
Davy: We nearly, we nearly lost him again there, Peter.
Peter: You know, for a second, I thought you guys…
Davy: He’s back. He’s back.
Peter: Posing for a statue over Rio di Janerio, I suppose. Those of you who followed closely the history of this… pre-fab four we constitute the majority of, uh… [cheering] I actually think pre-fab four is a very funny remark. I, I, I treasure it. I… wish I’d written it myself, and maybe someday, I’ll claim I did. Um, anyway, those of you who remember this group of ours, uh, and remember the closely studied the closely our history, may have noticed that uh, I, eh, well, in fact, I, I did not sing lead on a lot of tunes that we did.
Micky, Davy: Aw!
The Band: Oh Peter, oh. Aw.
Peter: Are you guys party to this? And, and besi—
Davy: Not me, it’s Renino again. He’s causin’ trouble, right there.
Peter: Young, young Renino does have a hungry and guilty look.
The Band: Ha ha ha…
Peter: Play the coward, I like that in a, in an underling. We uh, we are gonna, however, do a song that I did sing lead on, uh, and I’m gonna count it off somewhere in the next half hour, heh heh heh. If I’m, can I just hold, can I just find my brain, and uh, if these guys are done messing around. One… two… three… four… I love to count, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha…


Sources

  1. The Monkees: The Day-by-Day Story of the ’60s TV Pop Sensation (2005), Andrew Sandoval, p. 297.