Movin’ fast and movin’ slow
I’m in a crowd, yet I’m all alone
The road is long, the road is rough
I do believe I’ve had enough
I’m gonna turn around and head for home
And I hope you’re there
And you still care
And if you do
I’ll spend my life with you
There was a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it!” said Davy, jumping down from the bandstand. He attempted to look through the peephole and then opened the door. There were three cute young girls standing there. “’Ello, luv!” Davy said, leaning against the door frame.
I looked at Mike quizzically. He put down his guitar and moved to stand next to me. “Friends of yours?” he asked nodding towards the visitors.
I shook my head.
“We get a lot of groups of friends here,” Mike told me. “It’s always the same; you’ve got the hippie, the nut, the chick, and then of course, the normal one,” he said, nudging me and smirking.
I looked closer at the girls. Peter and Micky had now gone over to talk to them. They were all very pretty, but none of the girls were as good looking as me—eerily so. “Can we get rid of them?” I asked Mike.
“You brought ’em here,” he shrugged.
“So what do we do?”
With a hint of jealousy in his voice, Mike asked, “Why are you so eager to get rid of love interests for the guys?”
“Huh!” I scoffed, “Have you ever tried keeping track of eight characters at once?” I approached the girls, still unsure of what I was going to do.
“Well, hey there, gals,” I smiled politely. I glanced at the other Monkees, who were waiting for me to say something.
I leaned in closer to the girls. They leaned in towards me. “Um… rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb?” I mumbled in a low voice.
“I’m sorry? Did you just say… rhubarb?” the blonde asked.
“rhubarb… rhubarb?” I mumbled even more quietly.
The girls stared at me.
“RHUBARB RHUBARB RHUBARB! WHY ISN’T THIS WORKING?!” I yelled in frustration.
The brunette spoke up. “Um, I think we’d better be leaving. Come on, girls,” she said, and the girls ran off.
I turned back to Mike and grinned. “Eh? Eh? D’ya see that?” Mike nodded approvingly.
The other Monkees were glaring at me. “Wot did ya go and do that for?” Davy asked incredulously.
“I told you she was a Mike,” Micky said, bouncing back to the drum set.
“Come on, guys. Let’s finish the song,” Peter said.
“Nuh-uh, not me. I’m gonna go find those birds,” Davy said, determined.
“You can’t!” I said.
“Why not?” Davy asked.
“Because, um…” I glanced back at Mike. He shrugged. Lot of help he was. I had to think fast; I grabbed Davy and kissed him.
Davy was dumbfounded. “What a kiss!” he said. “I’ve never felt—”
“Oh, shut up!” I said, wiping my mouth.
“That’s not right!” Peter said. “That line doesn’t come yet!”
“Hey, you aren’t the one writing this, buddy,” I warned him. Peter flinched.
“Uh-oh,” Micky said, knowing that look.
Peter began to sniffle.
“Oh, Peter,” I said. “Come here.” I put my arm around him. “It’s okay. I’m sorry.”
Peter burst out crying. I looked to Mike for help, but he had his arms crossed and was giving me a look. I looked to the drummer. “Micky?” I pleaded. Micky bounced over next to Peter.
“It’s alright, Pete,” he said, patting his bandmate on the back.
While Micky comforted Peter, I dragged a still grumpy Mike out to the back patio. “Don’t tell me you’re mad because I kissed Davy! Come on, it’s not like I wanted to!”
“Then why did you?”
“I—I don’t know.”
Mike shook his head. “No, it’s alright. It’s good. There needs to be conflict.”
I nodded seriously. “Right. How long do we have to keep this up?”
Mike avoided my gaze, and once again, it looked like there was something he wasn’t telling me.
“What?” I urged.
“Well, if we stop fighting, that means there’s no story, and no story means…”
“You wake up tomorrow, and the radio’s playing ‘I Got You Babe’ again.”
“What?”
“Never mind. What were you going to say?”
“I was gonna say that means we live happily ever after, which means…”
“The end.”
“Right.”
“Well, come on then,” I said, “Let’s go back inside and create some more conflict.”
Davy and Micky were nowhere to be found. Peter was sitting on the bandstand with his guitar, writing a song. He looked up as we entered. “Are you guys still fighting?” he asked, concerned.
I looked at Mike. He walked away. I looked back at Peter and shrugged.
Mike went into the bedroom, and I sat down next to Peter and sighed. “What should I do, Peter?” I asked him.
Peter continued working on his song. “About what?”
“About Mike.”
“What about him?”
“I don’t think he likes me anymore.” I added an exaggerated sigh for dramatic effect.
“I didn’t notice. You two are always together,” Peter said sarcastically.
“Is that jealousy I hear?” I asked teasingly.
“Maybe you should give him some space. It’s just, the band still comes first, you know? We’ve got rent to pay.”
“I guess so,” I said. “Hey Peter?”
“Hmm?”
“You remember what you told me on the beach earlier? That I’m stuck here?”
Peter looked up. “What about it?”
“Well, I was thinking… aren’t you stuck here too?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you can’t get out either. But maybe if we all worked together—”
“Wait, hang on. Why would you want to get out?”
“Well, it’s kind of a boring life, you know? Always doing the same storylines over and over—”
“It’s not boring; we like it here!” Peter said defensively.
“No, that’s not what I mean at all; this place is awesome, but… don’t you think there could be something… more?”
“How could you say that?! We’ve got all we need right here! Friends, music, love; what else do you need?”
“Freedom, Peter!” I cried, “Freedom!”
Mike emerged from the bedroom. “Hey, what’s goin’ on out here? I heard some yellin’…”
“Michael!” Peter said, running over and clinging onto the guitarist. “Talk some sense into her—she wants to leave!”
“Hey, now wait a minute. It’s gonna be alright, Pete; we can all leave together.”
Peter backed away, shocked. “You too, Michael?”
Just then, Micky and Davy came through the front door.
“Hey guys! Good news! The girls said they would come over tomorrow night!” Micky announced.
“Good!” Peter said happily, clasping his hands together. He turned back to me and Mike. “See? You can’t leave! There’s lots more story about to happen! Davy hasn’t even gotten starry-eyed yet! Come on, guys, let’s play a song!” Peter frantically started adjusting his microphone stand.
“’Ang on, ’ang on,” Davy said, putting his hand on his chest. “Wot’s goin’ on ’ere?”
“We’re leaving,” Mike announced.
“What?” Micky cried, “You can’t leave The Monkees! We can’t be a trio! We need you, Mike! Wahahaha!”
“No, the story, Micky,” I said. “We’re leaving the story, and you can too, if you want.”
“How are you going to leave?”
“Well, I’m in charge; I’ve got to be able to get us out of here somehow,” I reasoned.
“Oh, you’re not in charge!” Peter sneered.
“Then who is?” I asked.
Peter sat down on the steps of the bandstand and started to sniffle. “I just wanted us to be together again, like we used to be, and now look what’s happened.”
“Peter?” Mike asked cautiously, “What are you saying?”
“We had so much fun when we were together. I thought we could do it all over again. Please don’t be mad at me.”
“Wait, you mean, you’re in charge?” Jenny asked.
“Petah? Is wot they’re sayin’ true?” Davy asked. “Am I to understand you’re the one that brought us ’ere?”
“Hang on, so…” Micky looked down at his body. “Am I… real? Do I even exist? Wha—whaa!?” Micky bit his nails as a pained look overcame his face.
“Of course you exist; you’re The Monkees!” Jenny pointed out.
“Now hang on, Micky’s got a point. People are always sayin’ we aren’t a real band. What if… what if they’re right?” Mike asked.
“Petah,” Davy said, getting mad, “Now, look, man, you brought us ’ere, so you better get us out, or I’ll—”
“No, Davy!” Mike said, holding the little Englishman back. “Don’t make him angry! You don’t know what he’ll do!”
Jenny and the other three Monkees backed away from Peter.
“Oh no, don’t!” Peter pleaded. “I would never hurt you! I just want us to be happy—like we used to be!”
They all stood in silence, Peter on one side of the pad, and everyone else on the other.
“Please don’t be like that,” Peter said. “We used to be so happy; we were a family.”
The three Monkees looked at each other, trying to make sense of what they had just learned about their bandmate. They always knew their situation was a bit strange, but they had never considered that Peter was in control of it all. Now they had a decision to make: could they still trust the innocent looking bass player? And what would happen to them if they didn’t?
After a few moments, Micky relented. “You know, he’s right. We were a good little band. And we’ve got a nice life here. Why would we want to give this up?”
Peter smiled at Micky. “Thanks, Mick.”
“Come on, Davy,” Micky said to the tambourine player. “You get a new girl every week. Every day sometimes. You must be happy here.”
“I guess you ‘ave set me up with some nice birds, Petah.”
The three Monkees looked at Mike. Mike looked at Jenny. “Will you stay with us?” he asked her.
“It’s not right,” she said, blinking back tears. “This isn’t real.”
“How do you know what’s real?” Mike asked.
She sniffled and looked down at her feet.
“I’ll tell you what’s real. Look at me,” Mike said.
She shook her head stubbornly. He lifted her chin upwards. She continued to avoid his gaze as tears streamed down her cheeks. With a tenderness one would not expect from the tough Texan, he gently wiped away her tears. She finally gave in and looked into his eyes. Mike took her face in his hands and kissed her passionately. Her knees went weak as her body pressed into his.
“Baby, that’s real.”
She took a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll stay. On one condition.” She looked at Peter. “You don’t write any more cheesy crap like that.”
“Deal,” Peter agreed.
“Now how about a song, shotgun?” Mike asked. Jenny nodded. The group got up on the bandstand.
All men must have someone, have someone
Who would never take advantage
Of a love bright as the sun
Someone to understand them
And you just may be the one
And they all lived happily ever after.