“Dr. Duck’s Super Secret All-Purpose Sauce” Lyrics

Have you got trouble with the TV?
Trouble with wife?
Does the champagne in your waterbed fizz too loud at night?
Are you worried that pork-bellied futures
No longer look green?
My friend, I know what you mean

It’s the one you read about on TV
And heard in magazines
It bonds anything to anything like nothing you’ve seen
A Mrs. B.S. from the Midwest writes
“It works like a dream
How could something so delicious get my dishes so clean?”

It’s Dr. Duck’s Super Secret All-Purpose Sauce
Why, without it, this whole planet would be hopelessly lost
With its discreet brown wrapper
Its affordable cost
How can Dr. Duck do it without taking a loss?
(How could something so delicious get my dishes so clean?)

On the first day, you’ll lose ten pounds
On the second two, fifteen
On the fourth day, you’ll inherit wealth beyond all your dreams
On the fifth, you’ll fly to London
On the sixth, you’ll meet the Queen
And in seven days, we guarantee your lawn will be green

It’s Dr. Duck’s Super Secret All-Purpose Sauce
Why, without it, this whole planet would be hopelessly lost
With its discreet brown wrapper
Its affordable cost
How can Dr. Duck do it without taking a loss?
(How could something so delicious get my dishes so clean?)

[break]

It makes women look lovelier
It makes men look lovelier
It makes ducks and geese look lovelier
It makes freight trains look lovelier

It’s Dr. Duck’s Super Secret All-Purpose Sauce
Why, without it, this whole planet would be hopelessly lost
In its discreet brown wrapper
Its affordable cost
How can Dr. Duck do it without taking a loss?
(How could something so delicious get my dishes so clean?)

[break]

It makes women look lovelier
It makes men look lovelier
It makes ducks and geese look lovelier
It makes freight trains look lovelier

It’s Dr. Duck’s Super Secret All-Purpose Sauce
Why, without it, this whole planet would be hopelessly lost
In its discreet brown wrapper
Its affordable cost
How can Dr. Duck do it without taking a loss?
(How could something so delicious) (How could something so delicious)
(Get my dishes) (Get my dishes)
(So clean?)

Personnel

Musicians