“Who Are You—Relax”

Disembodied voice: Whooo are you?
Julie: Iiiiiiiiiiii aaaaam womaaaaan.
Brian: We have the knowledge, evil though it be, to twist the mind to any lunacy we wish, through this electro-thought machine. I’ll demonstrate exactly what I mean. We’ll take the means of mass communication, use them for commercial exploitation, create a new four-part phenomenon, four simple lads, of talent little or none, and through the latest fad of rock and roll, conduct experiments in mind control! On an unsuspecting public, they’ll be turned. I’ll brainwash them, and they’ll brainwash… THE WORLD!
Julie, Monkey, Brian: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Brian: I conjure thee!
Julie: Iiiiiiiiii connnnnnjurrre theeeee!
Brian: Aaaaaaa—
Brian, Julie: —aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappear!
Brian: Lower the tubes! Ah ha ha ha ha, ha ho, yes. Who are you?
Micky: I am Micky Dolenz!
Brian: Wrong, you are Monkee number one!
Micky: No, I’m—I am Monkee number one.
Brian: Who are you?
Peter: I am Peter Tork!
Brian: Wrong, you are Monkee number two!
Peter: No, I’m—I am Monkee number two.
Brian: Who are you?
Mike: I am Michael Nesmith!
Brian: Wrong, you are Monkee number three!
Mike: No, I’m—I am Monkee number three.
Brian: Who are you?
Davy: David Jones!
Brian: Wrong, you are Monkee number four!
Davy: No, I’m—I am Monkee number four.
Brian: Good, very good. Now let us see, let’s hear from you collectively!

All:
Hey hey, we’re The Monkees
And people say we monkey around
But we’re too busy singin’
To put anybody down

We’re just trying to be friendly
Come and watch us sing and play
We’re the young generation
And we’ve got something to say, oh

Brian: Yes, and now I’ve got something to say! You are all in my power!
Julie: Silly boys, brute force will get you nowhere. He’s not here now; your minds are free. Use them! Think yourselves out. Relax… relax… relax. Feel your bodies sinking and your spirits rising! Rising out of your heads, floating away into your own world of fantasy… floating away into your own world of fantasy… floating away into your own world of fantasy…