“Randy Scouse Git”

She’s a wonderful lady, and she’s mine, all mine
And there doesn’t seem a way that she won’t come and lose my mind
It’s too easy humming songs to a girl in yellow dress
It’s been a long time since the party, and the room is in a mess

The four kings of E.M.I. are sitting stately on the floor
There are birds out on the sidewalk and a valet at the door
He reminds me of a penguin with few and plastered hair
There’s talcum powder on the letter, and the birthday boy is there

Why don’t you cut your hair?
Why don’t you live up there?
Why don’t you do what I do
See what I feel when I care?

Now they’ve darkened all the windows, and the seats are naugahyde
I’ve been waiting for an hour, I can’t find a place to hide
The being known as Wonder Girl is speaking, I believe
It’s not easy tryin’ to tell her that I shortly have to leave

Why don’t you be like me?
Why don’t you stop and see?
Why don’t you hate who I hate
Kill who I kill to be free?

[break]
Deedle deedle doo boo DEE boo, ba da-ba doo-ba dee boo, deedloo ba-ba zee-boo za-ba zay-ba zuh-ba zuh
Zee ba-ba boo za-za-za-ba-boo, DEE doodle DEE dood-la dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee bum
Zaddla zoodla ZEE do bee abba zoo’n DEE doola VEE doola VEE-VA doo bee abba doo-doo bum
Zabba zooba ZEE doodla zabba zooba ziddla zoobla zabbla zoobla ay

Why don’t you cut your hair?
Why don’t you live up there?
Why don’t you do what I do
See what I feel when I care?

(She’s a wonderful lady) Why don’t you be like me?
(And she’s mine all mine) Why don’t you stop and see?
(And there doesn’t seem a way) Why don’t you hate who I hate
(That she won’t come and lose my mind) Kill who I kill to be free?

(It’s too easy humming songs) Why don’t you cut your hair?
(To a girl in yellow dress) Why don’t you live up there?
(It’s been a long time since the party) Why don’t you do what I do
(And the room is in a mess) See what I feel when I care?


  1. The Monkees: The Day-by-Day Story of the ’60s TV Pop Sensation (2005), Andrew Sandoval, p. 297.
  2. Headquarters (1995) (CD).